Suffering Matters

Below is a talk I gave to a group of high schoolers while we were on a mission trip. The evening talks revolved around the suffering of Jesus and how it relates to our own suffering. I had mentioned to our youth minister that I could talk on this topic in front of the whole group. I did this because suffering is a topic that religious people are often really bad at discussing. We trivialize it or we romanticize it. Both are things that can be dangerous, especially when presenting to a group of teenagers.

It’s worth noting that woman speaking to the kids that night did an excellent job. I was very happy with her take of suffering, but I still decided to share the following with our group.

These were my notes, not a transcript of the talk.

I’m a catechist for 7th graders, and my favorite lesson that I teach is the final class before Holy Week. We talk about the passion in graphic detail.

It isn’t my favorite because it makes most of the girls squirm, which it does. It isn’t my favorite because most of the boys finally pay attention for once, which they do. It’s my favorite because it allows us to enter into what Jesus truly did for us.

We have been talking about the suffering that Jesus endured for us, which is such a powerful and wonderful thing. Except, because the things that came out of this wonderful act, forgiveness, freedom, consolation, we can forget to acknowledge his suffering. His real, human suffering.

Jesus suffered, and it was a terrible experience for him. We celebrate the day as Good Friday, but Jesus probably didn’t think it was a good day at the time. It was painful!!! When we don’t consider the human pain he experienced, we diminish his sacrifice, and we diminish our own pain.

In the same way, when something is causing us to hurt, we need to acknowledge that it sucks. Suffering is not some romanticized or abstract thing. It is real pain, and it matters.

Suffering is a topic about which I have done much reading and researching. The idea of a mean-spirited or vengeful God is impossible to reconcile with the loving and merciful God that I know. I also have my share of experience with suffering.

To this day, I deal with some issues that occasional panic attack or cause me to want to stay in bed all day because the weight of the world is just too much. These kinds of problems are also very common among teenagers, which is why I wanted to talk with you about it.

When I reflect on this topic, I consider some important questions.

Did God do it to punish me?

NO

Did God do it to test me?

NO

Just because your pain doesn’t measure up to the suffering of Jesus, doesn’t mean it’s not important. Remember that Jesus is also 100% divine, so at the end of the day, he was always going to be fine.

You are a fallen individual in a fallen world. We are all fallen humans; we should acknowledge when we cannot handle it.

Your pain matters!

It doesn’t matter if it’s not earth-shattering pain. It doesn’t matter if it seems frivolous. Your pain matters. Not only is it important to acknowledge this so you can truly appreciate the suffering of Jesus, but it’s also important for your own health.

In learning how to deal with our pain and suffering, we can take two examples from Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane.

When Jesus went to pray and confront his pain, he brought his friends (Peter, John, and James) with him. They were useless and kept falling asleep on him, but he was not alone. Our friends may not understand what we are facing, and they may be completely useless too, but at least you will not be alone. That matters.

Jesus also asked his Father to let this cup pass. He knew he was weak and asked for help. Expressing our pain and acknowledging that we are helpless is important spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally.

Ask for help!!! Jesus wants you to tell him about your pain. He knows what it is like to be a teenager. More important than his ability to relate to your pain, he wants your pain. He wants all of you. Your happy, your sad. Your big stuff, your little stuff. Even your embarrassing stuff.

If you are hurting, for whatever reason, asks your friends to be with you while you are hurting. If you are still hurting, ask for help. I am not embarrassed to say that I sought help when I need it, and I still do. If you don’t know how to find help, talk to someone. You can talk to your youth minister. Ask a teacher or coach. Ask one of our priests. Ask one of the chaperones here. There isn’t an adult in this room that would not move heaven and earth for each of you here. Know that you are not alone and you are all loved very much.